BafflePecans: I'm such a robot.
DontSymbiosis: Robots are awesome.
BafflePecans: Thank you!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A conversation with Erin, co-worker at Barnes & Noble.
Erin and I were in the movie theater last night when a preview for 2012 came on.
Erin: Well, it must be true. We have a whole section about it, you know. Anything we have a whole section of books devoted to must be true.
Me: Yeah, but we also have a whole section about new-age religion.
(pause)
Me: Wait, that's the same section.
Erin: Well, it must be true. We have a whole section about it, you know. Anything we have a whole section of books devoted to must be true.
Me: Yeah, but we also have a whole section about new-age religion.
(pause)
Me: Wait, that's the same section.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Maybe if you push them together and use the valley as a reservoir?
The Aussie and I were discussing the new set of Evony ads.
The Aussie: This site has an Evony ad I haven't seen before.
The Aussie: They're up to topless ladies in provocative poses now.
Me: Oh, seriously?
The Aussie: Seriously.
Me: Those Evony ads move faster than -I- do, apparently.
The Aussie: When do I get the invitation to play discreetly with you?
Me: You already DO!
Me: In your browser.
The Aussie: MY LORD
Me: What did you think you were getting exactly?
Me: I advertised myself as a Civ clone but I turned out just to be some hot chick who constantly comes onto you.
Me: Huge disappointment really.
The Aussie: I know, right?
The Aussie: Now I'll never save my queen.
Me: "I'm so aroused by you, Australian love-monkey!" "That's great, but I said BUILD the AQUADUCT."
The Aussie: SEX WILL NOT GENERATE WORKERS FAST ENOUGH
Me: "Shall I remove my top?" "I don't know, will that get potable water to the industrious plebs, do you think?"
The Aussie: This site has an Evony ad I haven't seen before.
The Aussie: They're up to topless ladies in provocative poses now.
Me: Oh, seriously?
The Aussie: Seriously.
Me: Those Evony ads move faster than -I- do, apparently.
The Aussie: When do I get the invitation to play discreetly with you?
Me: You already DO!
Me: In your browser.
The Aussie: MY LORD
Me: What did you think you were getting exactly?
Me: I advertised myself as a Civ clone but I turned out just to be some hot chick who constantly comes onto you.
Me: Huge disappointment really.
The Aussie: I know, right?
The Aussie: Now I'll never save my queen.
Me: "I'm so aroused by you, Australian love-monkey!" "That's great, but I said BUILD the AQUADUCT."
The Aussie: SEX WILL NOT GENERATE WORKERS FAST ENOUGH
Me: "Shall I remove my top?" "I don't know, will that get potable water to the industrious plebs, do you think?"
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
KCCI (Channel 8) News Crawl, 3:30 am, 10 Sept 2008 (Wednesday)
When mail arrives at Pat Livingston's house now days it's an adventure. She started receiving letters last week postmarked in 1970. Iowa State Patrol troopers are testing a new high-tech system designed to allow voice commands to control some car functions. A dump truck and farm tractor collide Tuesday morning flipping the tractor onto its side. Both drivers walked away without seriously injuries. For details on news headlines go to www.kcci.com.
Updated school board election results available now at KCCI.com.
Updated school board election results available now at KCCI.com.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Conversations in America
(in a convenience store near a hotel, my first store since returning to the States)
Me: They.. they make chocolate Skittles now?
Michael: Yeah, sorry, things got a little crazy while you were away.
(pause)
Clerk: You know, I think this is the most fun I've ever seen anyone have in a convenience store.
Me: They.. they make chocolate Skittles now?
Michael: Yeah, sorry, things got a little crazy while you were away.
(pause)
Clerk: You know, I think this is the most fun I've ever seen anyone have in a convenience store.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Well, that's empathy for you
A conversation at the internet cafe:
Clerk: Would you happen to have any of our coupons?
Me: Sure. (I fish them out.)
Clerk: Ah, I mean.. what about the part at the top here?
Me: You mean this coupon here?
Clerk: No, above that even.. this big blank piece here.
Me: Aaaahhh. I uh.. think I wrote my name and phone number on that part and gave it to a boy.
Clerk: Oh. Oh! Well... (lost for further comment, she fetches a new one for me and uses that instead.)
Clerk: Would you happen to have any of our coupons?
Me: Sure. (I fish them out.)
Clerk: Ah, I mean.. what about the part at the top here?
Me: You mean this coupon here?
Clerk: No, above that even.. this big blank piece here.
Me: Aaaahhh. I uh.. think I wrote my name and phone number on that part and gave it to a boy.
Clerk: Oh. Oh! Well... (lost for further comment, she fetches a new one for me and uses that instead.)
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